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Why Leaders Resist Change At Work (It's Rarely About Being Stubborn)
You've probably already labelled them as stubborn - The leader who pushes back on every new system, every restructure, every idea that comes up from the floor.
You may have even dismissed them as awkward, old-fashioned, dragging their feet. Written them off as someone who 'just doesn't want to change'.
I have definitely been guilty of assessing people in the same way, until a conversation on Alistair Greener's Generationally Speaking podcast pulled the real pattern into focus for me.
The reason why leaders resist change at work is rarely about the change itself, and it's almost never about being stubborn.
It's often fear-based. Fear of the unknown, fear of something different, fear of something they don't understand - even if it isn't obvious.
The Standard Approach To Resistant Leaders (And Why It Fails)
Right now, the standard response to a "resistant" leader is to push harder.
More data. More persuasion. More frustration when none of it moves them. Or you go around them: lean on someone more willing, and let the resistant one get quietly sidelined from the conversations that matter.
Both responses treat resistance as if it is their character that is the issue (i.e. this person is stubborn, set in their ways, protecting their patch).
Neither response works, because it isn't getting to the root cause of the impact andwhat's really going on underneath.
The Square Peg In A Round Hole: Why Leaders Resist Change
On the podcast, I put it like this: the leaders who are leading well right now are flexing and adapting as the workplace shifts around them. The ones who are struggling are the ones becoming a square peg in a round hole, not because they can't change, but because changing means admitting they don't have all the answers anymore.
For a long time, leadership ran on a simple deal. You put in the years, you became the most experienced person in the room, and people looked to you because you knew more than they did.
That deal has gone.
The working world now moves fast enough that someone six months into a role can know things a twenty-year veteran doesn't. For a leader whose entire sense of competence was built on knowing more than everyone else, that becomes a threat.
We cannot overlook this. It's a genuine, perceived threat to people at a certain level, because leadership is changing, the workplace is changing, and they no longer have all the answers.
They are not the most experienced person in the room anymore.
Recognise that what's sitting underneath, and driving these behaviours, is fear: self-preservation and self-protection. It is not stubbornness.
Why Leaders Resist Change At Work: The Psychology Underneath
Self-determination theory gives language to what's actually being threatened.
People at work, whatever their generation or seniority, need three things to stay engaged:
To feel confident in their own competence
To have autonomy over their choices
To feel a sense of relatedness and belonging.
Take away any one of those, and you don’t get curiosity. You get resistance, because the resistance is the brain working hard in its primary role of self-protection and self-preservation.
Competence is usually the main element that takes the hit when change moves fast.
A new system that makes twenty years of experience look out of date. A junior colleague who picks up the new process quicker. A question from the team that goes unanswered for the first time. Each one chips away at “I know what I’m doing here,” and whilst the individual is fighting to protect their identity as a competent leader, others are seeing it as being difficult and being stubborn.
That’s basic human psychology, and it shows up at every level and in every generation.
Humans haven’t changed. How we need to lead them has
In my experience of 20 years in the police (17 of which were in leadership roles), as well as coaching, training and consulting leaders independently since 2017, I've watched this exact dynamic play out everywhere from CID offices to boardrooms.
The leader digging their heels in often believes that they are protecting what has worked well and what has created success. They are also trying to protect the one thing that's always made them feel capable, and nobody dares ask them what they're actually afraid of losing.
Modelling, Not Mirroring: Advice For Leaders Navigating Generational Change
The advice runs in both directions, and it's the same advice either way: we're modelling, not mirroring.
For the emerging leader trying to bring a sceptical senior leader on board, the move isn't to copy how that generation leads, or to perform confidence you don't feel just to be taken seriously.
Look at what's actually working in your organisation, notice the leaders who inspire you, and take what they do well and shape it into your own version. Not a replica. Your own toolbox. A version that aligns with how you wish to lead.
For the senior leader who feels like the ground has shifted under them, and the world around them is changing faster than they can keep up with, the same principle applies.
Softening the edges of your square peg doesn't mean becoming someone else, dressing differently or talking differently to prove you've "kept up." It means staying true to who you are while being honest about what in your approach no longer fits the room you're leading in.
How To Lead A Leader Who Is Resistant To Change
If you're on the other side of this, managing up or managing a peer who won't move, the instinct is to argue harder. Don't.
Ask them what their concerns are. Ask them what their worries are. Try to meet them where they're at, understand where they're coming from, and you will start to find a way towards where you are and bring them on board.
A scenario like this means that you are both leading people ahead of you, and leading the people who are coming after you - at the same time.
Whilst this can be a challenge, it is another part of leadership.
The Identity Shift Leaders Need To Make For Change To Last
Tactics help at the edges. Better questions, more patience, and a softer opening line.
However, none of it holds if the leader hasn't shifted how they see themselves.
This is exactly what my PIIPS Framework™ (Plan, Intention, Identity, Performance, Structure) is built to address, specifically through its 'Identity' pillar: you can hand someone a new process, but if their identity is still anchored to "I'm the one who knows everything," and "I know more" or "I know better", they will find their way back to defending that identity every time.
Change lasts when the surface-level fix (a new system, a new way of working, a different conversation style) is matched by an identity-level shift (I don't need to have all the answers to be a good leader here).
Leaders who make that shift stop experiencing change as a threat to who they are, and start experiencing it as simply part of the job, and the evolution of their organisation and industry.
Nothing changes if nothing changes, and that includes how you see yourself, not just what you do differently on a Tuesday.
Ready to be a Better Leader with Better Balance?
I'm Zoë Thompson, leadership and performance specialist, and I help overwhelmed leaders transform from reactive to intentional leadership, so you finish work on time, take The Big Week Off with zero work, zero stress and zero guilt, and create success that feels as good as it looks. Do less, better.
The Leadership Community: a community built around learning, implementation, and support, so you can lead intentionally without losing yourself in the process.
YouTube Channel: Intentional Leadership with Zoë Thompson
Podcast: The Lightbulb: Weekly Insights for Intentional Leaders
Zoë
Building the people, systems & culture that let leaders step back and teams step up.
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